Mystic Clouds of Nostalgia

Many times we lose our control over our mind. It is just like a horse without harness. It keeps on traveling back to the past through the time. There will not be a specific route. It may turn left or right at any moment and may take a rest at a place. It will spend a few moments there and pick up some shells that contain several pearly memories.Some time it will walk continuously through the tracks of memories which ends nowhere.

The sunset at the beach is always a sweet memory. We used to gather there in the weekends and recite poems of our poets. There was a cement bench facing the sea and that was the one which is very close to the sea. Whenever we sit there the waves used to come and wash our feet. Sometimes it will soak us fully too. We enjoyed the hugging of waves a lot and it increased the enthusiasm in us. The beach was always crowded with visitors and beach side vendors. Shouting and laughter always made the beach noisy. Still we had privacy on that cement bench which is located in a remote corner of the beach. Some time we all sat in silence. The roaring of the sea will be the only noise around us. When the last rays of sun disappears and when the sky becomes dark the bottles will get open and the whiskey will flow into the glasses.

“Have it man. It is the blood of devil.”

When he cheered the rest I could see tears in his eyes. He was a poet and used to sing beautifully. The long beard is not at all matching his face; still he will not shave it. He never trimmed it too for a long time. Unevenly grown hairs and beard gave him the appearance of a genius and he really was the one. However, I used to feel that some sad feelings are haunting him and the purpose of the unevenly grown beard is to cover his emotions. He may not like others to see his emotions. There was an incident which proved that my feelings were right. It was on a weekend evening. As usual we were sitting on the cement bench on the beach. He started recite his own poem which was a funny one. We all really enjoyed the jokes in that poem and laughed loudly. At the end of it as an advice he told.

“Share all the happiness with everybody and keeps all the agonies for ourselves. I am selfish and I do not want to share my agonies with anybody else.”

I watched a drop of tears in his eyes at that time too. I had to leave my friends and my native place shortly after that incident and at a time when the communication industry has not as developed as they are today, I could not get in touch with them frequently. Adjusting with the new atmosphere and mingling with new friends I slowly forgot them too.

 A couple of years passed and one fine evening when I returned back from my work I received a telegram saying that my poet friend is no more. It was a shock to hear and entire night I spent sleepless. At that time I realized that I cannot forget my past. After a few days I got a detailed letter from one of my friends. The letter told about the death of the poet friend in detail. He was a cancer patient and was living with us hiding the fact. Whenever he sat with us, recited poems and cracked jokes he was quite aware that his days are numbered and the inevitable death will come to his doors at any moment with a bouquet of violet flowers to take him away from this world. Still he did not want to share his agonies. He shared only the happiness and left all of us in agony.

The globe continued with its rotation around its axis. Days and months have passed and so the years too. Life has changed a lot. The days of solitude have ended with the arrival of her in my life. Add more beauty to our life she gave birth to a baby boy too. Hectic work schedule and domestic responsibilities will take the joy of life from you many times. Holiday tour is the best remedy for it. I have decided to visit my native place after a long time.

Of course there are many places there which will ignite the nostalgia in me, but I prefer to go to the beach first. I thought that my little son will enjoy the crowd there. We went to the beach. As expected my naughty little son enjoyed the beach. We felt it difficult to control him as he started running over the loose sand. Somehow we caught him and then went to a beach side refreshment stall to have some snacks and soft drinks. The beach has changed a lot from those days. Instead of pulling carts which used to sell eatable on the beach, new restaurants and refreshment stalls have come there with all modern facilities. There were a few toys installed at the beach which entertains the kids a lot. Speed boats and water skiing provided new entertainments to the new generation. We enjoyed everything a lot and there was not a single moment when we kept quite.

The last rays of sun disappeared and the sky got darkening. Suddenly I had a strange feeling. It is just like someone penetrating your heart with a small needle. I stood there for a moment and then sat on the sand, but could not sit there for a long time. I felt like somebody is pulling me. I could not withstand that force and I started walking in the direction of that invisible force. I walked to the remote corner of the beach. My wife and son were accompanying me with a bit of wonder. Suddenly I stopped seeing a cement bench close to the sea. It was empty. In the twilight I saw the waves coming to touch the bench. A cool breeze came and went murmuring something. I could not understand what the wind tries to say me. Suddenly I heard a loud voice.

“Papa, what are you thinking? Just share the happiness and forget everything else.”

In a shock I stared at the cement bench. My little son is sitting there with a naughty smile. I saw a few hairs growing beneath his lips. I felt like his hairs are growing longer. The red and soft lips turn darker. I felt like getting fainted. A soft touch of my wife brought me back to the real world. My son was not on the bench then. He was running away from us with his naughty smile and waving goodbye to us.